Wordless Wednesday

This speaks for itself. My meter at 2:30 am.

Bad day....

   This is probably not a good time to write since I'm feeling pretty emotional and I almost didn't but then reminded myself that since life with diabetes isn't all rosy and happy, I don't want my blog to make it look like it is so here goes.
   So yesterday I woke up with a bg of 149. Not what I like but I figured it could be much worse. Lunchtime was 143 so I thought I was doing okay. Dinnertime came and I had a huge 326. I knew I'd been picking at stuff while my mom was baking and shouldn't have so I thought that was all it was but was still upset because I haven't tested 300+ it probably a month. I prebolused and considering we had pizza for dinner when I had a 170 awhile before bed I was happy. By an hour and a half later when I was ready for bed it had gone up to 257. Mind you that was with NO carbs and having drank like 20 oz of water. I thought maybe it was a very delayed high from the pizza. I corrected and went to bed. This mornings fasting was 175 :( Tried to be pretty careful with my breakfast bolus and 2.5 hours later with NO snacking I was 279. My frustration was going up big time. I gave more correction then my pump was going to. Did that work? Nope! 1.5 hours later with no real amount of food, I was only down to 258. Our Sunday lunch was brown rice, chicken (no breading), green beans and an Oreo cheese cake. I ate plenty of chicken and beans, just a little bit rice and then I did something that took a lot of willpower. I got up and left the table when my family was gonna have the cheesecake. I am proud I had the strength to do it even though I'm not gonna lie that it hit me pretty hard emotionally. Why should diabetes dictate what I eat to the point it drives me to tears? I know its just silly cheesecake but to me its not about the actual food that I couldn't eat but the fact that the last day has been soooo frustrating :( I feel drained and just want my blood sugars to act the way they should! :(
   So to wrap up the last bit of what there is to say, I'm gonna say that while I have lots of homework to do and its already 2:30 in the afternoon, I'm giving in to a little nap before I tackle it to see if I feel more like doing it then.
   So now that I'm done venting all my frustration about cheesecake and crying on all your shoulders, which I felt was needed since you guys get it like my family, well meaning as they are, don't, I'll sum it up by saying this is what a hard day of diabetes looks like. Its frustrating and most importantly, its okay to be frustrated. I don't often come to the point of tears over stuff like this but today it is really bothering me. Maybe after my nap my bgs will be better.

Hope everyone's Sunday is going better then mine.

Leanna

Living&Loving is now on Facebook! :)

Hey guys! I have met some great diabetics in facebook groups but I keep my personal fb private for my personal friends and family so I started a fb page to connect all my social networking sites! :) please like my page at http://www.facebook.com/pages/LivingLoving/216006278543096

Love and hugs! Leanna

Two things a diabetic should never let someone tell them...

   Just sharing a thought that has been on my mind lately. There are two main things a diabetic should never listen to if someone tells them.
    1.) Never let someone tell you its gonna be easy. Diabetes will bring you to tears out of frustration from not knowing what you did wrong that's giving you bad numbers. Its gonna do things that it shouldn't even if you didn't do anything wrong. It is a 24/7 part of your life that does not always make sense but.....
    2.) Never let someone tell you you can't do everything you want to in life. You can have good control of your diabetes AND live a VERY normal life. The keys thing is that it is a PART of your life, not your life. If someone questions you doing something and managing your diabetes at the same time, set out to prove you can do it!

Hope everyone is having a great Sunday and remember, you CAN DO IT!!

Love and hugs, Leanna

Insulin Pump Cozzy

   Hey everyone! This post is to show you the pump cozzy/case my sister crochet for me. I told her I want her to design me a case since I haven't really found one I really like. Some people who have been affected by diabetes have designed some really cool ones BUT I'm a college student who works part time and sadly many of the cool cases out there are out of my price range. I had in mind that she could sew me one but that's not what the first one turned out to be :) She sat down and was messing around with knitting and crocheting and came up with what we're calling a pump cozzy. Someone asked for the pattern and sadly there is none, however she is interested in selling them if people are interested! She would be selling them through Ebay but please let me know if your interested so she'll know if its worth making some and getting them posted! :) They will be very inexpensive.
   I really like mine so far and hope someone else is interested :)

Eye appointment and Shout out to Medtronic :)

   So today I had my yearly eye exam. While I know people with diabetes have to get them check yearly even if they don't have glasses, that's not the case with me. I've been very nearsighted for a long time and had glasses since I was 10 years old (over half my life now). My near nearsightedness has not gotten worse as fast over the last few years which is awesome. I was told when you hit your 20's it slows down, at least for awhile. Shortly after my diagnosis my eye doctor said that my blood vessels were a little ripply but wasn't surprised. The next visit I had, with a different doctor, I was told they were fine. Last year I had the doctor who had said they looked ripply again and she said they look great. No sign of diabetes! I have been doing so much better lately that I was excited that to know I should defiantly get a good report today. She was very pleased with my improved a1c's. After she dilated them and saw looking at them she looked in my left one for long enough it made me a little nervous. After finishing she said that my left I eye has a few ripply vessels and said that it no doubt is coming from the change in bg control. She said she knows it frustrating since I'm doing so much better but it can affect them the same way as running high would until they get used to it. She wants to see me back in the months to check it again. I'm glad to know she is being very careful and checking again even though its not unusual, cause my eye health is VERY important to me. Have any of you guys had the "problem" of your eyes having to get used to better control? if so, did it go back to normal quickly once it got used to the change?

   Also I want to say a big THANK YOU to Medtronic! My pump has had a few cracks for awhile that started out very small and just got worse over time due to the normal wear and tear of using even though I am VERY careful with my it. I mean, its a body part even if its on the outside unlike a normal pancreas! I really didn't know anything about how warranties at Medtronic because I have had no trouble with the pump I've had for 3.5 years (except concern about the cracks). I decided to see whats up and after tweeting my concerns to the general public, Medtronic themselves replied! That was last night and this morning they called due to the tweet :) my sister took the message and I called when I got home. They said they want to replace it because due to the cracks it could get moist inside and fail. As to my questions about what happens when my warranty is running out in like 6 months, the rep explained that I will get called to be given the chance to upgrade and when I upgrade my pump will have a new 4 year warranty. I was thrilled to be assured they have such great warranties! I expected it to be great but just never knew exactly what it was. My replacement for my current 722 will be here by tomorrow night :) Thanks again, Medtronic!

Love and hugs, Leanna

My road to better blood sugar control.

   Happy Friday friends! I'm not sure if I find this to be a very happy Friday or not. You ask why? It is officially my last friday and last weekend before school starts on Wednesday next week :( I know I have some people who will see this and say I should be glad I had such a long break and don't worry I am very glad I had such a long one. Here's to kicking off a great semester!

   I had an appointment with my Endo on Wednesday. I have really been working hard at getting my a1c where it needs to be. In the last years I've had multiple 8.3's and I think the lowest I'd had was a 7.8 or 7.9 and that wasn't any of the most recent ones. I saw my former doctor for the last time in May of last year and had an 8.3. Let me mention he is my former doctor only because of insurance issues and he moved. I really liked him and would not have switched if I would not have had to. Over the summer I didn't really have a doctor but was working at stepping up to the plate and controlling my bg's like I have not done well enough in the past. In October 2012 I had my first appointment with an endocrinologist. My first doctor as a family medicine doctor who I was with at the time of being diagnosed and who treated diabetes so I stayed there until I was able to start my pump. I then switched to the one I was with until May. He was also in family medicine but was licensed to do patients with pumps. He was a great doctor and a very nice man. The only problem with him was the fact that he wasn't hard enough on me but my lack of great control was my problem, not his. I saw my endo in October when the last blood work I'd had was my 8.3 in May. She made in very clear that she wanted a 7.0 and since I am young it is important to get in in control and keep in there to keep from having other problems. Even though I'm never going to blame a doctor who wasn't super hard on me for my lack of great control, it did give me the extra push I needed to have her be harder on me. I did tell her that over the the summer I had been doing better then the 8.3 and she could see by my pump downloads that was the truth. The blood work I had done after that appointment came back as a 7.4 :) I was super happy cause it proved that over the summer, doctor or not, I had improved!

   Wednesday of this week was my 3 month follow up. I had been doing great for the most part but was, as my twitter friends know, a little nervous for my appointment. I had had my blood work done a week earlier so it would be back and we could go over the results at my appointment. My endo's office is amazing when it comes to wait time! I arrived early due to having been at another appointment before that and I was back in my room by my appointment time :) After going through the normal nurse stuff and having her take my pump to download the records and then bring it back, my nervous wait for the doctor started! A few mins later she knocked, then as she opened the door and started to come in, the first thing she said was "You are doing great!". My reaction was "I am?" To which she responded "How do you think you are doing?". I told her I'd been doing great until I was fighting being sick. She saw what I meant on my pumps charts and then said "Well you A1c is a 7.1 so that is great. Now all you have to do is smooth out the rough parts and you'll be under a 7 which is what we want". Those were some of the most rewarding words I've heard!

  Needless to say I am very happy with my D control right now :) Yes, I am aware like my wonderful #doc friends have been reminding me, that I am so much more then a number (shout out to Jamie of @InkStain_D for the pep talk tuesday), but it is great to know that I am doing what I need to to have the best health possible now and in the future. Also I want to finish with a HUGE THANK YOU to the #doc for being such a wonderful support system. I have known you guys for a little over a year and it has been the best diabetes year of my life. I really don't think I would be doing anywhere near as well as I am now without you guys so I want to give you guys a great deal of the credit. Thank you for all being sooo amazing!!!! Love you guys more then you know!! :)

Until next time, love and hugs, Leanna